


"vacations"

by Mongo00



Series: holding on (to life) [24]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Family Vacation, Gen, POV First Person, POV Josh Dun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 08:46:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15360687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mongo00/pseuds/Mongo00
Summary: Vacations are supposed to be relaxing and refreshing. That is, unless you’re an anxious person.





	"vacations"

Vacations are supposed to be relaxing and refreshing. That is, unless you’re an anxious person. I find comfort in places that I know and the place that I call home; I don’t like to leave that comfort. People get confused because I don’t want to leave my hometown yet I love to travel. Let me explain. Yes, it’s a paradox but it’s a reasonable one. I hate unpredictable places and new surroundings, but I love trying new foods and learning new things. My family and I go on a vacation every summer. Unfortunately, that brings yearly fear and paranoia that no one else seems to understand. Even if I’ve been to a destination before, I’m not used to living there. That very fact makes me uneasy, but no one understands and very few even try to. I’m dragged onto a plane with my anxiety screaming in my brain every year and have no say in it. My friends and family think that I’m joking when I tell them that I’d rather stay home. And if I bring it up, they always repeat the fact that I’m lucky and should be thankful that I’m able to travel. I never said that I wasn’t thankful for the opportunity; in fact, I know that I’m very fortunate to have the chance to travel. It just happens to be that I don’t like leaving my hometown. People try to convince me on why I should be excited and then get frustrated when I find ways to refute their claims. Trust me, I want to be excited but fear does some nasty shit to your perspective on things. I try my best to be hopeful and have fun but there’s always fear and uneasiness swirling in my brain. I smile and laugh through trips to please my family while I constantly think of the number of days left before I go back home. I wish I wasn’t like this; I wish I could enjoy vacations as much as other people do; I wish I didn’t feel this urge to scream and cry when I’m in an unfamiliar place; I wish people truly understood how I feel.


End file.
